On my 30!

17Mei2013

Today is my 30th birthday.

No party, no special celebration, no birthday cake.

My husband Danny text me at 7am wishing me happy birthday.

And later on he called me.. singing happy birthday happy birthday to mummy.

I asked for kisses.. He gave me moahh moahhh..

I says I can't and I don't feel it.

He says Hug Hug Hug I love you.

Well I replied, thank you moah love you.

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What I wish on my 30th birthday?

I wish everyone the best and Good health especially my Mom. & all my family members.

I need them to be in good health so that there will be no emergency calls to me when I am no longer at home

I've spending 24/7 at home for the pass 5months. Crazy! Crazy? 

I believe things happen for reasons even tho' everything seem out of track!

I thought those 5months are time to be spend for my husband & my daughter hannah.

But it's turned out staying in 1roof with my family-mom, twin brother, nephew, nieces, and eldest sister.

I thought I will be happy for the opportunity..to completely rest..but it turned off to crisis and lots of unsatisfactions to mom and sister. Just about 2weeks after January they start to urge me to find job. They got tense over me for staying home..doing nothing?? nothing? but i completely take over look after hannah. their tense goes on to February..March.. it goes slow in april when mom fall sick, she can't move, she can't walk. for one month and only recover well after an operation 2 weeks ago. My eldest sis. I though she understand my needs my desire to take time fully rest at home..i have went tru so difficult time when i was badly sick.. despite my fb status in January make publicly seen. I don't blame well im thanking for recommended me to afew jobs but sorry I have to reject..why? Be a PA is not my interest anymore.. Account Clerk? I dont like to manage a manager's tasks. Do account is no more my interest too with basic offer RM900. not to says my ego or what. I still think and consider spending time with hannah worth than 900rm a month. BSN sales - well another offer, I am not a sale in nature person. But   I do enjoy and have passion in support and serving sales team. 

back to mom's story, she have never talk nicely to me, I can make a conclusion whenever she open her mouth to talk.. it is always not in good manner, rude, tense and pick a figh with me. I really get mentally abuse. I cried and my little girl look at me and wipe my tears with her fingers saying mami.. I could only hug my girl for comfort. I cried everytime my hubby called telling him how tense I was until I feel I can't take it any longer..all he can says is sabar dear sabar.. i need u to sabar while i try to fix everything. I just ask him to bring me out from this house. I dont feel love. I dont feel connected to them. I feel like a stranger. 

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Back to my 30th birthday wish.

I think I am getting ready to move on and start a job. Doing something of my interest. 

I can't wait to start my project on modern etnic fashion design./ native modern fashion

I want to learn tailoring & fashion that offer to every level of ladies. 

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My small dream welcoming 3Series0 

#tomorrow 18mei hannah turn 2! oK this time you will have your birthday cake! or maybe we just wait for daddy to come home and celebrate together. I want a  damai beach party! just the 3 of Us!